精英乒乓网-买正品，到精英。买蝴蝶，到精英。
标题:
我国1949以后称帝的人员名单（不笑我服你）
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作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:12
标题:
我国1949以后称帝的人员名单（不笑我服你）
<div class="t_msgfont" id="postmessage_448409">
<p>[大中华佛国](1947----1953，1983) <br/> 先主石顶武 1947----1953 图谋叛乱，被人民政府处决。 <br/> 后主石金鑫 1983 石顶武之子，1983年在农民“丞相”李丕瑞的“辅佐”下登基，于湖南醴陵农村复国，旋被县公安局镇压。 <br/> <br/></p></div>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:12
[道德金门皇帝] <br/> 丁兴来（盲人） 1981----1990 地处大别山，创道德金门教，然后称帝，封了"正宫娘娘""西宫娘娘""宰相"等21个人,赐"仙印"41枚.由于交通闭塞，直到称帝后十年才被发现并被乡政府处理。 <br/> <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:12
[中原皇清国] <br/> 正皇帝张清安 1982<br/> 副皇帝廖桂堂 1982 以皇清为年号.地处大巴山。 <br/> 张清安刻“玉玺”，设“后宫”，分封“丞相，文武百官”，“颁布《天律森吏》”，打算定都巴中县，把巴中川剧团大楼当皇宫，甚至写好了准备（通过邮局）寄到台湾的册封蒋介石为“威国王”的“谕旨”，还决定要“御驾亲征”，结果还没出师，就被县公安局给灭了。<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:13
[圣朝国] <br/> 1980----1982 林文勇，地处大巴山仪陇山区，被县公安局镇压。 <br/> <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:13
[玉皇大帝]<br/> 1982年地处大巴山的曹家元自称玉皇大帝，旋灭。 <br/> <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:13
[皇帝] <br/> 1980年地处大巴山的朱仕强自称皇帝，仅七日即被村书记带人灭了。<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:14
<br/> [大圣王朝]（1986----1988） <br/> 女皇晁正坤 1986----1988 地处胶东半岛。行巫术、招童男、建“后宫”、后被县人民政府镇压。<br/> <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:14
<br/> [万顺天国] （1990----1992）<br/> 李成福 1990----1992 地处豫西。自建安民党、万李起义军，自称唐朝后裔，妄图以农村 <br/> 包围城市的方式复辟唐朝帝制，定都西安。后被乡派出所3名干警剿灭。<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:14
[其它] <br/> 姓名不详，登基于70年代末80年代初，起因是反对计划生育政策。于是在农村立国，称皇帝，调动大军（数百人似乎），杀入县城，攻陷县医院，俘全部医生、女护士，将所有计划生育用品搜出并销毁。后人民解放军迅速发动反击并围困了县医院，皇帝率军顽强抵抗后兵败被俘。本应判该皇帝死刑。念其无知，判处无期。
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:15
<div class="t_msgfont" id="postmessage_449036"><font size="3"><font color="#0000ff"><font face="黑体">逃犯从被关押十五年的监狱逃跑了。他闯入了一个民宅寻找食物和钱，却发现一对年轻夫妻在床上。 <br/>于是，他命令丈夫下床，并且把他捆绑在椅子上。然后他又将妻子捆绑在床上，并长长地吻了她的脖子，然后走进了厕所。 <br/>当逃犯在厕所的时候，丈夫对妻子说：“听着，这人一定是逃犯，只要看他的衣服就知道。他一定在监狱的时间太久，好多年都没有见过女人，从他亲吻你脖子的样子就看得出来。如果他要和你上床，千万不要抵抗，不要抱怨，按他说的去做，不管他如何蹂躏你，都要满足他的要求。他一定非常危险，如果他发怒的话，可能会将我们都杀了。你一定要挺住，宝贝，我爱你。” <br/>妻子说：“他并没有亲吻我的脖子，而是在我耳边轻声说话。他告诉我他是同性恋，而且他觉得你很可爱，还问我家里有没有凡士林。我告诉他在厕所里。你一定要挺住，宝贝，我也爱你</font></font> </font></div>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:16
话说一天,乡长的牙刷被贼偷走了, 秘书在全乡大会上用高音喇叭对乡民大喊: 是哪个狗日的把乡长的牙刷偷走了? 木你把乡长的牙刷偷走,刷你妈的比呢吗? 你把乡长的牙刷偷走了,叫乡长拿求刷牙呢吗..........
<p> </p>
<p> 暴汗~~~~~~</p>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:17
<strong><font face="楷体_GB2312" color="#ff0033" size="5">这年头，<br/>大棚把季节搞乱，<br/>小姐把辈份搞乱，<br/>关系把程序搞乱，<br/>级别把能力搞乱，<br/>公安把秩序搞乱，<br/>金钱把官场搞乱，<br/>手机把家庭搞乱！<br/></font></strong>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:17
这年头，<br/>女人漂亮的不下厨房，<br/>下厨房的不温柔，<br/>温柔的没主见，<br/>有主见的没女人味，<br/>有女人味的乱花钱，<br/>不乱花钱的不时尚，<br/>时尚的不放心，<br/>放心的没法看！<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:17
这年头，<br/>老婆像小灵通经济实惠但限本地使用，<br/>二奶像中国电信安全固定但带不出门，<br/>小蜜像中国移动使用方便但话费太贵。<br/>情人像中国联通优雅新潮但常不在服务区！<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:18
这年头，<br/>一哥们说北京地铁拥挤不堪他怀孕的老婆竟被挤流产了；<br/>昨天他问上海的地铁是不是好些，<br/>上海的哥们说更糟：<br/>上个月他老婆乘地铁竟然被挤怀孕了！<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:18
这年头，<br/>教授摇唇鼓舌，<br/>四处赚钱，<br/>越来越像商人；<br/>商人现身讲坛，<br/>著书立说，<br/>越来越像教授。<br/>医生见死不救，<br/>草菅人命，<br/>越来越像杀手；<br/>杀手出手麻利，<br/>不留后患，<br/>越来越像医生。<br/>明星卖弄风骚，<br/>给钱就上，<br/>越来越像妓女；<br/>妓女楚楚动人，<br/>明码标价，<br/>越来越像明星。<br/>警察横行霸道，<br/>欺软怕硬，<br/>越来越像地痞；<br/>地痞各霸一方，<br/>敢做敢当，<br/>越来越像警察。<br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:19
这年头，<br/>军委领导说解放军的工资如果翻四倍可以打美国，<br/>翻三倍可以打日本，<br/>翻两倍可以打台湾，<br/>翻一倍可以回家打老婆，<br/>目前的工资回家只能被老婆打
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:21
<h2>中央台主持人看病《搞笑篇》</h2>
<div class="t_msgfont" id="postmessage_457496">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm="0cm" 0cm="0cm" 0pt"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o:p> </o:p></span></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm="0cm" 0cm="0cm" 0pt"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">王小丫：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 王小丫大夫一个箭步冲进手术室，焦急的问伤者：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你知道你伤在哪儿了吗？</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人吃力的摇摇头。王小丫接着说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">给你三个备选答案！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">肋骨断裂</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">B</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">胸腔大面积出血</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">C</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">颅内出血！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人听后狠狠地咬了咬牙说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“A”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">，王小丫迷人一笑接道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你确定吗？你还可以求助亲友团，另外你还可以打一个求助电话</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。病人一边狂吐血一边绝望的说道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">我要打给我父亲！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">那好，你们的交流时间只有</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">30</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">秒</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">爸，我不行了，这里好像是精神病院，快换医院。。。。。。</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b></p></div>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:21
<h2>中央台主持人看病《搞笑篇》</h2>
<div class="t_msgfont" id="postmessage_457496">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm="0cm" 0cm="0cm" 0pt"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o:p> </o:p></span></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm="0cm" 0cm="0cm" 0pt"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">王小丫：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 王小丫大夫一个箭步冲进手术室，焦急的问伤者：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你知道你伤在哪儿了吗？</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人吃力的摇摇头。王小丫接着说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">给你三个备选答案！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">肋骨断裂</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">B</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">胸腔大面积出血</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">C</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">颅内出血！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人听后狠狠地咬了咬牙说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“A”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">，王小丫迷人一笑接道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你确定吗？你还可以求助亲友团，另外你还可以打一个求助电话</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。病人一边狂吐血一边绝望的说道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">我要打给我父亲！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">那好，你们的交流时间只有</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">30</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">秒</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">爸，我不行了，这里好像是精神病院，快换医院。。。。。。</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b></p></div>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:21
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">李勇：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 李勇大夫冲进手术室，大概查看了一下病情，然后嘎嘎怪笑着说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">现在病人需要过，（全体护士一起喊）幸</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">~</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">运</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">~</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">第</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">~</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">一</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">~</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">关</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">，接着一个直拳带着风声击向伤者面门</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> … </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:22
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">王小丫：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 王小丫大夫一个箭步冲进手术室，焦急的问伤者：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你知道你伤在哪儿了吗？</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人吃力的摇摇头。王小丫接着说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">给你三个备选答案！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">肋骨断裂</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">B</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">胸腔大面积出血</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">C</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">颅内出血！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人听后狠狠地咬了咬牙说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“A”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">，王小丫迷人一笑接道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">你确定吗？你还可以求助亲友团，另外你还可以打一个求助电话</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。病人一边狂吐血一边绝望的说道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">我要打给我父亲！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">那好，你们的交流时间只有</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">30</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">秒</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">爸，我不行了，这里好像是精神病院，快换医院。。。。。。</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:22
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">倪萍：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 倪萍以最快的速度冲进手术室，又以最快的速度从眼中流下两行液体，然后对全体护士动情地说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">其实</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">……</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">他（指患者）已经离开家在外面漂泊了</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">2</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">个多小时了，他是多么的想家呀，多么的想他白发苍苍的父母那，多想他那虚弱的娇妻啊，多想抱抱他那还未满月的闺女呀，但是现在</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">……”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">倪萍转身擦了擦涌出眼眶的泪水，接着对病人道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">请您对焦急的亲人说上一句话吧！表达一下你此时此刻的心情！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">（全体护士含泪鼓掌中）。病人艰难的张了张嘴，又喷了一口血，然后喃喃地说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">妈妈的，我没救了！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:23
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">韩乔生：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 韩乔生一阵旋风冲进手术室，对全体护士说道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">这位病人被一辆奥迪</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">A6</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势所撞飞，具体受伤位置好象是头部</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">……</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">哦，对不起，是脚部</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">……</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">嗨，我老糊涂了，在背部……</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">。</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">一位护士提醒道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">韩大夫，他的胸口在流血耶！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">韩瞪了她一眼接着说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人的身高</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">1.75cm;</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">体重大约</span> </strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">180</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">公斤；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">（全体护士轰然倒地）。最后，韩乔生开始安排手术任务：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“1</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">号，你负责观察病人心电图；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">2</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">号，你负责给病人电击；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">3</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">号，负责给病人缝合；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><font face="Times New="New" Roman">4</font></span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">号，负责给病人吸氧；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><font face="Times New="New" Roman">5</font></span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">号，负责给病人输血；病人（？？？？），负责给病人打麻药（嘴里的火车启动了）；</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">！病人大哭道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">苍天啊，上帝啊，</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">俺命苦呀！打麻药都得自己动手，我彻底不活了</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。说完，一蹦子跳下地就往墙上撞去……</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:23
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">鞠萍：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 鞠萍飘然走进手术室，对护士们说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">全体护士小朋友请注意，这就是那位非常可爱的受伤者，圆圆的并在流血的是小脑袋，还有大衣里面正在往外流血的是肚子，擦掉皮的地方是好看的小脚丫。你们可能看他和平时不一样，那是因为他被刚刚汽车撞过了</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。护士们用力地点头，一位护士主动走上去缝合创口，鞠萍对她微微一笑：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">小红，你的中国结扎得真好看耶</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">”</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">。病人喷出了最后一口血说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">我靠，</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">那可是俺的肠子啊！呜呜呜…！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:24
<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">赵忠祥</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 赵忠祥大夫稳重地迈进手术室，他环视了一下室内，然后对护士们说：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">像大多数动物一样，每当人类为了在危急关头能够延续受伤的生命，总会有一种专门负责救治的人及时出现。这种动物群体内自我救治的例子还很多，像生活在非洲大沙漠上的眼镜蛇，还有生活在寒冷的阿拉斯加灵鼠，茫茫雪域的北极熊，都能够自己给自己医治伤口</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">……</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">大家快看，这个人正在挣扎、抖动，这是人的肌体的自我救治本能开始发挥作用了。</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'"> 病人痛苦地大叫：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">天啦</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">！谁让你们给我找来个兽医！</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/><br/></span></b>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:24
瑞英<strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">李瑞英在护士之前来到手术室，端庄地坐了下来，对病人说道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">刚刚来的消息，一位著名人士因看贴不回贴，下线后突发脑溢血，已被送到医院抢救，请问是您吗？</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">” </span></strong><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br/></span></b><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">病人后悔莫及地呻吟道：</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">“</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">看贴不回贴真的是有报应啊！切记</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">...</span></strong><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">切记</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: #7f3f00; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">......” <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o:p></o:p></span></strong>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm="0cm" 0cm="0cm" 0pt"><strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial">哈，纯属娱乐，回不回贴都无所谓，别听小李子的话。</span></strong><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: purple"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:26
1、周末回家，晚饭后烟瘾犯了，打算借口去散步。在门口换鞋时，老爸问我干吗去？我说：""去散个烟！""结果老爸从我身上搜出一包白沙，狠狠K了我一顿。 <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:26
2、一次从妈妈那里出来后到老婆那里去，看见老婆后，习惯性的叫了一声：""妈！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:26
3、早上上班，发现自行车没气了，于是想叫妈妈推到门外打气。结果我说：""把我的轮胎推出去。""妈妈迷糊了，我笑着连忙改正，结果又说成：""帮我的汽车打点气！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:27
4、一次我开车，坐我旁边的女同事突然问：""你怎么开车不系安全套的？"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:27
5、一次在厕所方便，没纸了。就对老婆说：""把擦纸的屁股拿来！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:27
6、一个女孩失恋了，我劝她：""两条腿的蛤蟆不好找，三条腿的男人有的是啊！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:28
7、两个人斗嘴，突然旁边一人冒出来一句：""你们真是吃饱了事情没饭做啊！"" <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:28
8、同事和人争执，急了张口来了句：""你以为我吃饭长大的啊？""我一直纳闷他到底吃什么长大的。 <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:28
9、上电脑课，一同学的机器有问题，于是大喊；""老板，换机子！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:29
10、边吃饭边看帖子，边念经典的给老婆听，笑死她了，于是她对我说：""吃完饭再看吧，不然脑子消化不良！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:29
11、一次问一个近视的人眼睛多少度，他本想说400度的，结果一出口就成了400瓦，肚子痛死！ <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:29
12、一次教育局领导视察课间操，结束后，本应由体育老师宣布""解散""，但一时情急，忘词了，憋了半天，大喊：""撤退！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:30
13、一体育系学生上实习课时，很多老师听课，他太紧张，最后要解散队伍时，一时脑子空白，硬憋了句：""全体注意，立正！闪！！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:30
14、一群同学去郊区同学家玩。我们买了几个西瓜放在厨房。叫一个同学去拿刀切，好久不见回来，正疑惑间，他手里捧着个切开的瓜来了，惊慌地说：我把南瓜给切了。大家狂笑，但两秒钟后，大家更是笑翻，原来他手里捧着个冬瓜！ <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:30
15、高中有一老师姓江，酷似罗家英(演大话西游唐僧的)，我去问他问题，脱口而出：""唐老师，这题......"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:31
16、有一同事，有天我开车在路上车胎没气了，问哪里有充气的，同事说：""街上到处都是打胎的啊！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:31
17、一次去麦当劳买甜桶，终于轮到了，我迫不及待的说：""给我两个滚筒！""没想到那服务员对我大声的说；""两个滚筒，四块钱！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:32
18、俺碰到一个心仪已久的女孩从澡堂里出来，想套近乎，憋了半天憋出一句：""你洗澡啊，里面男的多不多啊？"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:32
19、有次去吃饭，结帐时对老板说：""老公！结帐！""当时老板娘就在旁边...... <br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:32
20、有一老师通宵麻将，见黑板没擦，大怒：""今天谁做庄啊？黑板都不擦！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:33
21、有一次我大叔见我小姑在搽大宝，突然大叫一声：""你皮肤这么好，还用护舒宝啊？"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:33
21、有一次我大叔见我小姑在搽大宝，突然大叫一声：""你皮肤这么好，还用护舒宝啊？"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:33
22、刚买了房子，兴奋中给一哥们打电话：‘我买房啦，不过就一毛房(忘说""坯""字了)还得装修。""哥们说：""就只有一厕所吗？那你住哪里啊？"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:34
23、本老师留下做作业，不会做就抄别人的，，然后去办公室交作业，看见老师说：""我抄完了！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:34
24、某君考驾驶证那天，特别紧张。考官为难他，叫他在路边有一个消防栓的地方停车。此君特紧张的说：""报告消防栓，路边有一个考官，不允许停车！"" <br/><br/>
作者:
长胶755
时间:
2012-10-18 18:34
25、公司养一狗叫：小白。某天大家逗狗，同事甲拿着一饼干对狗说到：""小白，整个办公室只有你喂我哦。""三秒钟后，整个办公室暴笑！
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